Well done.

0. Allows children to buy down their rates on movie money from Friday night by mowing the lawn on Saturday morning.

-1. Scolds self for dual agency snafu by attempting to feed dog AND cats at the same time (leading to a mess over who gets fed first- food still on floor in pantry).

-2. Declares eminent domain over bathroom for a soak in the tub (kids roll eyes at lame $10 phrase but hit Google when the room is empty only to ask how to spell “eminent” for “no reason, just curious”).

-3. Charges self based on her IRD for either swearing or humming the Hannah Montana theme song repetitively.

This is way too much fun… I’ll quit before my husband catches me blogging instead of getting the kids ready to get out of the house… (reason # -4.).

I love this. I can’t even pick a favorite one. Hysterical.

Who’s the King? Who’s the King?

That’s great! I think #9 is my fave.

Thanks for the comments, everyone. And the sad thing is that it is all true.

Is the dog sitting or ???

Steve- both.

Very nicely done. I swear, one of these days I’m going get tired of not having a personality, and if I ever do, I’m going to pretend to be you, because you have one.

As for not having a life, I’m thinking of having an IV stand bolted to the edge of my desk with mood enhancing drugs to fight off the inevitable despair at having become Web 2.0′s all-day-every-day content bitch, but other than that life is just SUPER! (Prounounce SUPER with best faux-happy salesman, and you get the gist. …

Funny post.

Oh, John, I think you have enough personality for the both of us!

And for the record Steve, that is not our dog, silly, but a Googled look-alike, so I can’t really say.

Enough personality for both of us? So that’s where those voices are coming from…

Thanks, Kris. That explains a lot.

That’s funny, I thought it was Simon too! And I wasn’t quite sure what he was doing either…