Headline Potpourri

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The real estate news is SO bad! Hide your young, board up the windows, and assume the crash position. You could just be hunkering down for awhile.

At least, that’s what the papers say. Yesterday in the San Diego Union Tribune we enjoyed the article entitled “San Diego new-home sales hit lowest point in five years”. We are so suckie! Today, we were treated to “S.D. home-sales dip is lowest in region”. Apparently, we are suckie, but much less so than other counties. Phew! What a relief.

Of course, if you actually read the articles, you would get a glimpse of a more balanced picture, the whole story, if you will, and things are not so dismal as the headlines might imply. Yet, no one reads the “whole story”.

And, no one reads the paper anymore. We are a generation of sound bites. We are such insanely busy people, people busy with such insanely important things that we only have time for the headlines. I, personally, have had one of those insanely busy days (posturing as a crash test dummy for anyone who dared to even glance in my direction). After a day like today, who needs negativity? As a public service, I have devoted my precious, waning twilight moments to summarize the day’s news for other, multi-tasking professionals, in a more positive light. Headlines are all compliments of the San Diego Union Tribune. (Disclaimer: I didn’t actually read the articles, as I was too insanely busy).

The headline: Questions surround official’s departure.
The story: Will you be needing that stapler? Can I have your parking space?

The headline: Internet giants plan to change U.S. health care.
The story: Hospital appointments will sync with Outlook. Emergency appendectomies will now be scheduled within one calendar year, guaranteed! (404 error means you shouldn’t bother – You’re a goner). 

The headline: Mattel recalls more toys.
The story: “My First Bathtub Blow Torch”, “Early Years Termite Fumigator Kit (tent not included)” and “Ninja Nail Gun” deemed potentially unsafe.

The headline: Terror label sought for Iran’s Revolutionary Guard
The story: All members of the Iran Revolutionary Guard will be required to sew label into underwear stating “Property of Terrorist”.

The headline: Stock market caters to the super-wealthy.
The story: Duh

The headline: Homemade ice cream can make you a hero.
The story: “Recipes for homemade ice cream fall into one of two camps: those with a custard base and those without.” GIVE ME A BREAK! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Let’s face it. Real estate or not, this world is just nuts! And, tomorrow’s another day.

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