This morning I am introducing my brilliant new marketing scheme – www.PeopleWhoLikeBroccoli.com. Just think of the possibilities! I will market our listings and our services to folks just like you and me, to those that enjoy the occassional green vegetable and wish to associate with others who share their affinity for a fiber-rich diet.
Sounds stupid? On the face, sure, but relatively speaking, I think I may be a little late to the niche marketing game. This morning I bring you this from the Really Dumb Marketing Ideas file: www.PetRealtyNetwork.com. In my office mailbox I received a postcard for the “First Pet Real Estate Network for Pet Friendly People and their Pets”. I am assuming that it is the “pet friendly people” that are actually being targeted, since it is a widely held maxim that pets can neither read nor navigate the internet with any degree of confidence.
What’s not to like? Their site is loaded with images of adorable puppies (not the ugly, slobbering, mature canines) and even a few horses that tug at my heartstrings and cause me to consider renting My Friend Flicka.
The Pet Realty connects Real Estate Professionals with the millions of pet owners interested in buying and selling Real Estate across the United States and around the world… Our customized instant online search and listing databases are designed for the special needs of Pet Friendly People and Real Estate Professionals.
As an agent, my first question was clearly “Where do I sign up?”. Oh happy day! As luck would have it, the annual Real Estate Professional membership fee is usually $95, but I can take advantage of the special $50 launch rate. For this, I can feature unlimited pet friendly properties and showcase my personal “bio” and contact information. The best part, though, is that I can “shop for promotional gifts”. Their store is coming soon, and I for one anxiously await the opportunity to purchase a beer cozy upon which the Pet Realty Network logo will be proudly displayed. Cutting edge I shall be. My marketing genius is being unleased. No more pussy footing around. Being Man’s Best Friend may be my ticket to becoming Man’s Best Realtor.
Of course I did a search for “pet friendly” homes in San Diego. Alas, there are none. Alabama, Kansas, Michigan… Nada. But Florida (which, coincidentally, is home to the Pet Realty Network)? In Florida, there are apparently 23 homes which would make a suitable environment for my pets! Sadly, when I narrowed my search, none of these are listed as being suitable for farm animals. I’ll be keeping an eye out though, as gnu listings are added to the database “every day”.
I adore the family dog and cat, and I am now shamed into conceding that our current home is not “friendly”. I dread breaking the news to Simon the Dog and Fluffy the Short-Haired Domestic that we must head east to find a home that truly meets their needs. These needs involve a comfy off-limits couch for sleeping when we are not looking (for the former) and an expensive area rug to receive the hurled hairballs (for the latter). Since I’m not licensed in Florida, I will need representation. If you are a Pet Friendly Real Estate Professional in the Sunshine State, call me.