Real Estate as a Second Language (Stupid Saturday Post)

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I made a mistake early in my career (many, actually). I had seen the shorthand MLS entry used before, I understood it, so being a new agent with one of my first listings, I decided to adopt the language of the big boys. My showing instructions proudly read “CLAFATS”. Naturally, my first call was from an agent asking what “Call a Fats” meant.

I have always found the use of acronyms without explanation arrogant, a form of showing off. Truthfully, this has always been a big peeve of Steve’s, and I have dutifully adopted his point of view as any good wife should. I’m not sure if the language of Real Estate is in fact arrogant, lazy or just plain stupid, but here are my favorites (all to be found among the confidential remarks sections of todays active San Diego listings).

What They Say – What They Mean

CLAFATS – There it is again! Call listing agent for appointment to show.

B2VAB4COEBuyer to verify all before close of escrow. Which, by the way, is a dumb thing to waste valuable space on, since we have disclosures out the wazoo to say just this. Absent the execution of those disclosures during escrow, I doubt seriously this MLS statement alone would provide any legal protection whatsoever against misrepresentation, or for publishing incomplete or inaccurate information.

CF,GD or CF/GD or CFGD – This either means Call First/Go Direct or is an advisory to Call God ahead of time. I have seen cases where both would apply.

SELLER HAS BABIES!!! – OH MY HEAVENS!!!

Family memerin prop w/roommate – I can’t find the space bar, but a family “memer” is either proposing to the roommate or doing something involving props. Either way, I don’t want to go there.

Vacant/LBC – Property is vacant but they may be hosting the Louisiana Baptist Convention.

SF incldes (sic) 40 SF non-permitted compuer (sic) loft –The agent is an idiot.

CF30MINNOT – Call first, something about 30 minutes, or maybe NOT.

CA1HRGO – We are going to California in one hour.

No Lockbox, by appointment with agent, Lockbox on Bench – We don’t want you to have any earthly idea how to get it into the property, and we like to answer phone calls from confused agents all day.

Thxs for showing – Either I devised a clever way to save typing two characters or I dot my “i’s” with little hearts, or both.

Seller Selects Services – I am establishing up front that I, the listing agent, shall wield all power, even though I know this by law is a negotiable item between principals.

HAGWE! (Have a great weekend).

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