Ten signs your real estate agent is slowing losing it.

First of all, I just accidentally deleted a post on home warranties. It was probably divine intervention (as it is next to impossible to put a fun spin on optional sewage ejector pump coverage), but I find it upsetting nonetheless. I know I won’t be getting those 20 minutes of my life back and, at this point, they all count.

So, shifting gears, I will instead share this comment I read on Twitter recently. The writer said, “Dontcha hate it when you forget to close a <div> tag, and then when you DO close it, you miss a ‘;’ ?”

And here is the sad part. I really do hate that. That’s because I need to get out more, which means it might be a good time to dust off this Top Ten list. (Note: I am violating the cosmic Top Ten List rules in numbering sequentially. This is because I don’t know how to format declining numbers, and I hate bad formatting almost as much as I hate messing up my <div> tags.)

The Top Ten Reasons You Know Your Agent is One Cashew Away from the Nut Farm

  1. Searches for missing car keys on the MLS.
  2. Asks husband to take the dog for a walk-through.
  3. Frosts her cakes with a caulking gun.
  4. Signs daughter’s report cards electronically.
  5. Refers to regular doctor visits as physical inspections.
  6. Defends purchase of impractical yet whimsical shoes by saying they were on short sale.
  7. When a new Supreme Court Justice is “confirmed,” she assumes he that he just closed escrow.
  8. Refuses to set up trust funds for children, thinking this would trigger some complicated Department of Real Estate filing.
  9. Sees a “Now Showing” theater marque and instinctively whips out her lockbox card.
  10. Children are named Freddie and Fannie.

Number eleven, of course, is the one where your agent finds themself in a deep blue funk when a post on home warranties gets zapped into the cyberspace void. Guilty as charged.

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